Today is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. Growing up in evangelical America, we never celebrated Lent. However, I went to an Episcopal school for eight years. Some liturgical practices were bound to rub off on me. I never really understood why all the crosses at school were covered in purple cloth. Or why all the “Allelujah”’s were omitted in the mass. I really didn’t understand why our chaplain didn’t allow my friends and I to give up chapel for Lent. With some degree of honesty, we did believe that skipping chapel would bring us closer to God. Lent was quite somber and mysterious. And it seemed that a season meant to prepare you for Easter was super depressing. I understand that identifying with the passion of Jesus should be on the sobering side. But I still don’t understand why it has to be such a drag.
Most of the people I knew that did practice Lent would treat it a bit like a New Year’s resolution. They would give up a vice or habit. They were rarely things that actually made room in their life for greater meditation or times of prayer. Like giving up soda for 40 days really draws you into the heart of God. I suppose it could if you were crazy addicted (like me). On the whole, their understanding of why they were giving something up for God seemed to miss the point.
I’m not entirely sure of the origin of Lent. It seemed to be practiced in some form or fashion before being formalized in the Council of Nicea. It was always meant to be a time of penance and preparation leading up to Easter. A time with increased prayer, introspection, and focus on the sacrifice that Jesus made. The theory being that if we give ourselves more time for deliberate focus, we better identify with his suffering and hopefully our little Grinch hearts will grow a few sizes. There are folks that fast completely for the 40 days. Some skip a few meals a day. And many, many others give something up for God. I think that any sacrifice or change to our routine should give us pause. We are creatures of habit and routine. Disrupt that and we all have an autistic fit of one size or another. I suppose that there is nothing too trivial to give up for Lent. What is trivial to some is a crutch to another. As long as what you choose, actually brings you to a place of repentance, an honest look at the state of your heart, and leads you into a more sacrificial and loving life, you are on the right track. It is not enough for us to be contrite. Our repentance must transcend our own sense of forgiveness and affect the way we treat others. We give mercy because we are desperately in need of it. We love, because we are loved. I think a portion of Lent should be spent contemplating that we are loved and have received mercy for our own sake. Because we all need to know that we are loved and valued, accepted and cherished, just because we are. But if we stop there and we don’t let it change our behaviors, then we are really selfish and need to start Lent over until we get it.
I have only been really playing the Lent game the last few years. Most years I don’t prepare for Lent and it catches me off guard. It is amusing that you have to prepare to prepare. I have given up cursing before, and if you know me you know that is a legit sacrifice. Last year, I gave up complaining. That was scary. Quite a revealing time for me. This year, I have been stumped. I am sure that I have a routine, but I am not really sure how distracting it is or isn’t. I still feel like a jumbly bumbly bag of nerves out of place here. My level of activity actually needs to increase not decrease.
So this year, I have decided not to give something up for Lent, but rather to add on. I think that by creating a little more structure in my life, I will quickly see what I actually spend my time doing. To add on three activities that actually make me consider the sacrifice of Jesus and what it actually means to me and for me, seems like a good choice this year. I don’t want to forget why I have decided to celebrate Lent. As somebody on some website said Lent is a time “to repent of sin, to renew our faith and to prepare to celebrate joyfully the mysteries of our salvation.”
If you are so inclined, I wish you a happy Lent with the appropriate amount of crying here and there. And if you are not inclined, then I wish you a happy Wednesday, sinner.
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